


Unbroken

by ConstantWriter85



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Branding, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captivity, Electrocution, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Flogging, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Interrogation, POV Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Smut, Torture, Waterboarding, Whump, hurt reader, injured reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:21:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29189976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstantWriter85/pseuds/ConstantWriter85
Summary: Bucky isn’t happy about being paired with a snarky, untested hacker on a stealth mission to infuriate Hammer Industries. But when the mission spirals out of control and they’re both captured, he finds out just how much heart his hacker has–and how far she’s willing to go to protect the lives of others.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 96
Kudos: 431





	1. Untested

**Author's Note:**

  * For [inoue6](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inoue6/gifts).



> Warnings: *18+*, Language, Enemies to Lovers, Blood and Graphic Violence, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Angst, Aftermath of Torture/Recovery, Smut, Fluff, A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is not so much a prompt as a collaboration with my dear friend inoue6, my partner in whump. The story is hers, I just brought it to life. 
> 
> I am not a hacker by any means, I know just enough about coding to be dangerous. All mistakes are my own.

**Avengers Compound, 2330**

“Is that seriously what you’re wearing?”

You self consciously tugged at your hoodie, looking down at your skinny jeans and boots. You didn’t see anything wrong with your outfit.

“What—they’re dark colors,” you argued. “I even wore gloves. No fingerprints.”

You waved your hands at Bucky, and he snorted derisively. Weaponry in varying stages of disassembly was laid out on the table between you, and you watched as the super soldier started packing his favorites.

“Is that all you’re taking?” he asked.

“I got everything I need right up here,” you said, tapping your temple.

Bucky rolled his eyes at Sam. “Please tell me why she’s coming again?”

“Oh—I’m sorry, does your ancient ass know how to parse through lines of code to find the information we need? Oh yeah, that’s right— _you don’t_.”

Bucky rolled his eyes at you. “I know how to use a computer.”

“No, you don’t,” you chuckled, shaking your head. “You may know how to open up Microsoft Word and surf the internet—impressive, for a man of your age, by the way—but you don’t know the first thing about backdoors and spyware and crypto—”

Bucky scoffed. “Those aren’t real things.”

“My point exactly—they’d be onto you the moment you typed your first passkey.”

He shook his head in irritation. “This is gonna be dangerous, sweetheart—”

“Don’t call me sweetheart.”

“This is real life. Real guns, real bullets. Real consequences—not like those video games you twidgets are always playing in the break room. Playing Call of Duty for hours on end doesn’t make you ready for something like this.”

“Ready for this? I’m the best goddamn hacker you’ve got—and that’s what I’m going to be doing. _Hacking_. You—the grumpy, slightly homicidal meathead— _you’ll_ be the one doing the punching and the shooting.”

“What did you call me?”

“Turn up your hearing aid, gramps.”

“Will you both shut the hell up?!” Sam hollered. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and Bucky folded his arms in triumph as if he’d won somehow. “I chose the both of you for a reason.”

“Breaking into Hammer Industries is no joke, Sam.” Bucky complained. “I’m not bringing an untested civilian into the field.”

You grit your teeth. Untested. God, how you hated that man. Bucky Barnes was the most frustrating person you’d ever met— _and_ he was an asshole to boot. Grumpy and moody as hell, never so much as a thank you when you helped him update the software on his computer or pair the Bluetooth on his new comms device. Not that you did so willingly—it was your job.

You weren’t really sure what started it exactly, you only knew that out of everyone in the Compound, Bucky was the one person you just couldn’t get along with. It wasn’t for lack of trying, though. He’d just kept giving you the cold shoulder, and finally, enough was enough. Ever since, the two of you had been butting heads.

“And how, exactly, do you expect to get through their security, huh?” you asked. “Gonna just do some stealth shit and shimmy your way past biometric security? You need me.”

“No, I don’t. It’s _you_ who needs _me_. You’re deadweight.”

“Dude, what’s your fucking problem—”

“All right, both of you on the Quinjet, now!” Sam fixed you both with an exasperated stare. “I cannot listen to one more second of this. Figure your shit out, get the intel, and get back here. You’re both adults—it should not be this hard.”

Well, shit. Nothing like being called out by Captain America to make you feel about two inches tall. With a final withering stare in Bucky’s direction, you snatched up your pack and headed up into the Quinjet.

***

**Hammer Industries, 0300**

Your fingers flew. Signature wad of gum between your teeth, chewing it thoughtfully as you launched another viral code into the server and slipped past the final firewall.

Success.

“We’re in.” You popped your gum, not necessarily out of habit, but because you knew it annoyed Bucky.

You were, admittedly, a little disappointed in Hammer’s security. Still, you didn’t let your guard down—it was usually the easier hacks that ended up with trouble. Better to play it safe.

Moments later your caution was rewarded, when lines of code suddenly appeared on the screen.

“Cock-sucking mother fuckers!”

A bot. Latched onto you despite your Trojan Horse, and you furiously typed counter-commands to override and slip past it.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” Bucky snapped.

“Shut up.”

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Bucky standing there on high alert, every muscle poised to intercept a new threat. But this threat wasn’t physical—it was a specific sequence of ones and zeros that you were currently battling, inches away from him.

The minutes passed as the code flew from your fingers, dodging their attacks and sending out probes of your own. Your heart raced, the world narrowing down to the console in front of you, the world falling away and dissolving into a series of keystrokes.

Finally, you laughed in relief. “Shit, that was intense.” A quick check of the building’s security systems, and you sat back from the console. “Goddamn, I’m pretty sure I just came in my pants.”

Bucky blushed bright red. “Jesus Christ, the mouth on you. Do you ever think before you speak?”

“Do you have any idea what I just did? No—you don’t.” You grinned good naturedly as you continued to delve further into Hammer’s encrypted files. “Let’s just say I’ve surpassed a level of bad-assery that will require much worship from my fellow “twidgets” when we get back.”

You were flying, still reeling from the high of breaking into Hammer’s secure database. Bucky’s lips twitched in response to your sass, and for a minute you actually saw the ghost of a smile on his face. He shook his head and shifted on his feet.

“So, did you find it yet? Who Hammer sold the weapons to?”

That was the whole reason why you were there. Hammer’s weaponry had been found at the scene of a recent terrorist attack, but a faction had yet to claim responsibility. You were currently hip-deep in Hammer’s servers, trying to find any evidence that led to the end-buyer.

And there it was.

“Holy shit.”

Bucky was at your side in an instant, echoing your sentiment with a curse of his own.

“Ten Rings,” he said. “These guys run deep—they operate in individual cells, none of them know what the other is up to. It’ll be impossible to know which cell we’re dealing with.”

“Unless we have a location.” A couple more clicks, and an address was displayed.

Bucky looked like he wanted to kiss you. “That…that would be useful.”

You scoffed, trying to hide the way his gaze had you curling in at the edges. He’d never looked at you in quite that way before, and you were suddenly struck by the intensity of his blue eyes and the insane amount of heat radiating off his body.

You clenched your jaw, forcing your eyes back to the monitor. Damnit, you were not attracted to him. You were _not_. He was such an ass, such a condescending—

“Wait—what’s that?”

For a moment, your brain froze, fingers hovering over the keys. Totally not paying attention to how close he was, how good he smelled or how the weight of his hand on your shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. No. A couple clicks, and the data came into view.

“Oh my god.”

Ten warheads, purchased from Hammer industries.

That’s all there was—no end data, no hint as to what they were planning to do with the warheads, just the cold, hard fact that Ten Rings was now in possession of ten of them.

A lot of lives could be lost with that amount of firepower.

“Wait a minute.” Your eyes narrowed. “They haven’t been delivered yet. Payments been accepted, but…they’re still here.”

“Here?’”

“Here. In this building.”

Bucky stared at you. “We can’t just steal ten warheads—do you know how big they are? How much they weigh? We’d never make it out of here.”

“We don’t have to steal them,” you said, grabbing your pack and locking the computer. “We just have to render them unusable.”

“You can do that?”

“It’s just another computer—and I know computers.”

Bucky was silent for a moment. He stalked over to the door, peering out into the hall even though you already knew—thanks to your uplink to the building’s security feed—that there was no one there. He was just stalling.

“We’re going way off script here, doll.”

Doll. That was the first time he’d ever called you that. And the tone he used was not his usual condescending tone, but that of an equal. A partner. You chewed your lip, trying not to read too far into it.

“I know. But the warheads are here. _Right here_. Think of all the damage they could do, all the lives that could be lost. We could stop that.”

A long, long pause, and you felt like Bucky was looking right down into your soul. Testing you, perhaps, for weakness.

“All right. Do you know where they are?”

“Lower level, East side.”

A curt nod. “Let’s go.”

Bucky directed you to stay behind him as he led the way, rifle raised. You felt horribly clumsy next to him—whereas Bucky hardly made a sound, you felt like every footstep was a thunderclap, ringing down the long corridor. You tried to mimic his body movements, but once again, his admonition rang in your ears.

Untested.

You were way out of your element here. Hacking, yes. You knew that. Even advanced weaponry systems weren’t a struggle for you, you had cut your eyeteeth on Stark technology as an intern, and Hammer tech paled in comparison.

No, it was the danger. The stealth and the possibility of discovery. You suddenly felt very, very glad of the super soldier next to you, and woefully unprepared for a firefight should one happen.

Bucky seemed to sense your nerves as you both eased into the stairwell. “You okay?”

“Y-Yeah,” you stammered. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s just do this thing and get the hell outta here.”

Soon, you were standing in the entrance of a vault, looking at ten Hammer warheads. Slim, sleek projectiles in olive drab, gleaming sinisterly in the dim light. The vault had been secured with biometric security, challenging but not impossible to hack. Twenty minutes later and you were both in, and you ripped through your pack, setting up while Bucky stood watch.

The tension had built to a fever pitch. You didn’t know why you felt it, but the longer you stayed in the room the worse it was. Even Bucky seemed on edge, watching you out of the corner of his eye as your reprogrammed the warheads with new launch codes of your own choosing.

Now, the only person in the world who could launch those warheads was you.

You were just typing in the last command keys, when Bucky stiffened. “Pack it up. Now.”

You listened, but you didn’t hear anything. “Barnes—what’s wrong?”

“We’ve got company.”

You did as he asked. Pack slung over your back again, you moved behind him. Bucky melted into the shadows, his eyes raking the open warehouse floor. He was barely breathing, every muscle tensed and poised as he drew you behind him protectively.

“You listen to me. No matter what happens, you listen to what I say. Stay behind me, and keep your head down.”

“But—”

“Tell me you understand.”

“Okay.”

Your heart was racing again, that word surfacing unbidden once again as you watched him sight in on something you couldn’t see. Untested. Bucky had been right. You were completely out of your depth here. You’d never felt quite so dependent on another person before, and it left you feeling uncharacteristically helpless.

“You get ‘em all?”

His question startled you, but you grinned maliciously. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Bucky turned his head slightly. “You ready to move? I see a way around ‘em.”

You still didn’t even see _them_ , but you nodded anyway. Bucky shifted slightly and you followed, trying to mirror his movements as he ducked around the doorway, and out into the warehouse.


	2. Unbalanced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: **18+ NSFW**, Language, Blood, and Graphic Violence, Death of Angry Guard Dogs, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Angst
> 
> Series Warnings: *18+*, Language, Enemies to Lovers, Blood and Graphic Violence, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Angst, Aftermath of Torture/Recovery, Smut, Fluff, A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: **Please heed all the warnings. This is a very specific request, and the whump is turned up to 11 in this fic. This chapter is where the whump/torture/violence starts, and it is not for the faint of heart. There will be recovery and comfort, but the next few chapters are going to get rough. Your media consumption is your own responsibility, proceed with caution.**

Bucky crouched low against the wall, so still and so silent he could have been a shadow himself. After all, there were plenty for him to blend in with. The only real light in the vault was from the emergency lighting above and the soft glow of Y/N’s computer, but it was more than enough for him to see both entrances, exit strategies already categorized and mapped before she’d even finished setting up.

He watched her for a moment, rocking back and forth with her lip tugged between her teeth, scowling at the screen. Her hoodie was up, partially obscuring her field of view, and he was about to tell her to take the hood down before he decided against it. She’d probably just tell him to fuck off anyway.

Bucky turned back to the vault entrance. All superfluous noise was filtered out. The rapid-fire tapping of her keyboard, the soft sound of her breathing, the swish of her clothing as she moved about the room. His hyperawareness intensified as he watched, waiting for the input that _didn’t_ belong.

There. The soft scrape of a bootheel on concrete.

“Pack it up. Now.”

He felt her turn behind him, and she hissed, “Barnes—what’s wrong?”

“We’ve got company.” To his surprise, she didn’t hesitate. She did exactly as he asked, packing up her gear and crouching down behind him. A few more moments and he was able to pick them up with his enhanced eyesight—a patrol of four, approaching in the high guard position with weapons raised. It wasn’t just a routine sweep.

They knew someone was here.

“You listen to me. No matter what happens, you listen to what I say. Stay behind me, and keep your head down.”

“But—”

He reached back and grabbed her wrist, squeezing slightly. “Tell me you understand.”

“Okay.”

Bucky waited while the sweep team moved along the far side of the warehouse towards a blind spot. He could see Y/N out of the corner of his eye, peering over his shoulder into the gloom, jaw clenching when she realized that she couldn’t see them. Her posture was tense but fluid, weight balanced on the balls of her feet in a wide stance, mirroring him perfectly.

The girl was a fast learner.

Yet for all her outwardly appearance, he could feel her uncertainty, and it was an emotion he had never associated with her before. Y/N was a cocky as they came, a girl with a serious attitude problem and a mouth that would make a sailor blush. Now, though…now she was subdued. Obedient. Putting her faith and trust blindly in him, and to Bucky, it was like he was looking at a different person. It was oddly touching.

“You get ‘em all?” he asked quietly. Bucky honestly didn’t know jack shit about computers, but he could tell she was very, very good at what she did. He was impressed.

Y/N paused for a moment, but he could tell she was grinning. “Yeah.”

“Good.” Bucky gave her a little smile of his own, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “You ready to move? I see a way around ‘em.”

A slight shift to warn her and they were up, moving down the side of the warehouse towards the exit. Bucky cringed at the noise. He knew Y/N was trying, but she just couldn’t move like him.

Which was illustrated the next moment, when one of the straps from her pack hit the metal doorframe.

The sound of the buckle hitting the metal was like a depth charge in the cavernous space, reverberating off the walls and alerting the sweep team to their presence. Bucky couldn’t have done a better job if he had a neon sign and road flares. He didn’t have time to voice his irritation, though, because the next moment a hailstorm of bullets were chewing their way towards the pair.

“Get down!” He roughly yanked her away from the open door by her strap, shoving her forward down the corridor. “Run!”

He was hot on her heels, silently urging her faster as he heard the team round the corner. A short burst from his rifle slowed them, and he quickly tossed a grenade, gritting his teeth in satisfaction at the tortured screams behind him.

Then they were outside.

“Through the fence—go!”

For a second, it looked like Y/N was going to run right into the fence, but at the last minute the illusion dissipated and she shot through. Stark Technology—a holographic projector designed to mirror the surrounding fence, disguising the hole Bucky had cut through it hours ago.

Now they were in the woods surrounding the Facility, but Bucky knew they were far from home-free. The cover was better here, the light dimmer, but it was still a long way to where they’d stashed the car.

And they just weren’t moving fast enough. Y/N was sprinting full out, but as fast as she was, Bucky could see she was starting to tire.

His words were coming back to haunt him. _Deadweight_. It seemed like a cruel foreshadowing now. He couldn’t have pulled this mission off without her, but now she was just slowing him down. There was only one thing he could do. He _had_ to keep her safe.

“Y/N—keep going. I’ll hold them off—"

Vehicles to his left, swooping around and cutting them off. ATV’s, by the sound of them. Before they could even shut off their engines Bucky had grabbed her by the back of the collar and pushed her down, falling on top of her.

Lights swept the air above them. Bucky could feel her trembling under him now, afraid. He squeezed her shoulder and her eyes flicked to his, and despite the fear he saw there, Bucky could see that she trusted him completely. He gave her another reassuring squeeze.

Silence descended once more. Through the gloom, Bucky could make out three ATV’s triangulating their position, men hopping out and racking weapons. And judging by the low chatter on their comms, they knew where Bucky and Y/N were.

Then the fourth vehicle skidded to a stop, and Bucky’s stomach clenched.

Dogs.

He could smell them. Hear the low, snuffling sound as their claws tore at the dirt. Hunting.

_God, I hate dogs._

Humans were one thing, but dogs…dogs were a different matter. His plan had been to lay in wait until the sweep team passed over them and moved on, but he knew that would never work with the dogs. Already he could hear the panting and snarling intensify. They’d found the scent.

He leaned down close to her ear. “Y/N, listen to me. I want you to stay here. Don’t move a muscle. I’m gonna draw them away from you, and once we’re gone I want you to get to the car and get out of here.”

“You’re about to do some hero bullshit, aren’t you.” Her bratty sarcasm was back, but even in the gloom he could see the concern in her eyes. Bucky smiled thinly.

“When you hear the shooting start, run. I’ll catch up.” A final squeeze of her shoulder and he rolled off of her and into a crouch.

Once again, he was the ghost. Moving silently through the woods, an unseen specter positioning himself right in the middle of the converging men.

Bucky let himself be heard.

Shouts and sporadic gunfire. The men were smart enough not to shoot at each other, but they weren’t smart enough to realize they were dealing with just one man. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Y/N jump up and run, the brief flash of her face frozen in the moonlight as she looked back over her shoulder at him.

Bucky ducked and spun, a shot here, the swipe of a knife there, constantly shifting his position as he whittled them down, one by one. It was, after all, what he did best.

The dogs were in a frenzy. In a panic, their handler had unleashed them. They rushed at him, but they were mere canines against a white wolf, and in the end, they were no match for him.

Bucky whirled, bringing his gun up. He’d just sighted in on the next target when he felt something loop around his cybernetic arm. The arm went dead the same moment as his nerve endings erupted in fire, the pain making his vision white out briefly as his knees hit the dirt. Teeth clenched until he felt like they would break, the cords standing out in his neck. It was like being back in the chair, only infinitely worse, because he could still retained all his senses.

The pain abruptly stopped and Bucky just lay there, panting heavily. He couldn’t move. Not an inch. It was like someone had hit a dead man’s switch, taking out everything but his ability to see and think and hear.

And, unfortunately, the ability to feel, because he certainly felt the boot as it made contact with his face. His last conscious thought before darkness overtook him was, _at least Y/N made it out._

_***_

Bucky couldn’t have been more wrong.

He came to in the back of a truck, on his back with his hands bound in front of him. His head was throbbing, but a couple hard blinks cleared the haze from his eyes and he was able to look around. Not move much, though. The arm was still dead, and just trying to lift his remaining limbs was like moving though cold molasses. Whatever they’d hit him with, it had been effective.

He managed to roll on his side, and froze when he saw who was lying next to him. Y/N. Bound like he was and looking virtually unharmed, and Bucky closed his eyes in relief when he saw the steady rise and fall of her chest. He whispered her name a couple of times, but she never moved.

Bucky cursed. Anger and frustration over their current predicament flooded him, but he pushed back those thoughts. They wouldn’t help right now.

So he spent the next several minutes taking in their surroundings, trying unsuccessfully to work some feelings back into his limbs and come up with an escape plan.

The truck went over a particularly large bump, bouncing them both across the hard bed of the truck, and Y/N groaned. Predictably, it was followed by some long and creative cursing, and Bucky hissed at her.

“Keep your voice down.”

“…hello to you too.” Y/N mumbled as she massaged the side of her neck, scowling.

“What’d they hit you with?”

“Dunno. Tranq, I think. I can’t really remember. One second I’m running towards the car like you said, and the next I’m laying here staring at your ugly mug.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Can you stow the sarcasm for two seconds? We’re in a bit of a tight spot here, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Y/N’s face softened and she looked down, and Bucky wondered if the attitude wasn’t a bit of a front. A way of dealing with stressful situations and people.

“You okay?” she asked quietly.

Bucky was taken aback by the level of heartfelt concern in her voice. “Yeah, doll, I’m fine.”

“You don’t look fine.”

“Well, I can’t really move right now, they hit me with some sort of stun device that killed my arm.”

“It’s still there.”

“The arm? I know.”

“No, the stun device, gramps.” She rolled her eyes and nodded towards his arm.

“What?” Bucky craned his neck, and sure enough, she was right. A thin band was encircling the bicep of his cybernetic arm, blinking ominously.

“Maybe I can get it off.” She started to wiggle towards him, and Bucky rolled onto his back.

“Okay, yeah. Go ahead.”

With a cautious look towards the cab, Y/N scooted next to him. Her fingers had just slipped around the band, tugging at it, when his arm once again flared in agony. Bucky’s scream was cut off as his jaw snapped shut, his body going rigid as electricity shot down his spine.

He must have lost a bit of time, because when he came to, there was a man standing in the back of the cab, leering down at them.

“Ah, good. You’re up. Just in time. Stings, doesn’t it? I wouldn’t recommend trying to remove it again.”

Y/N was staring at him with a mixture of apology and horror. He didn’t get the chance to say anything though, because the truck was backing up to a stop, the doors flung open. A black bag was pulled roughly over his head, and hands grabbed at him, dragging him out of the back of the truck.

Bucky counted. Forty steps ahead, then three hundred and twelve to the right. Seventy two to the right again, and then they were in what felt like a freight elevator. Three dings, three floors down. Underground now, Bucky felt himself dragged along an uneven, filthy surface. He heard the sound of a metal door being swung open, a body hitting the floor followed by more cursing, and the door was swung shut again.

Bucky was pushed back into a chair, one that felt eerily familiar to him. Panic began to bubble up until the bag was removed from his head, and he nearly laughed in relief. Not quite, though, because although what he was sitting in was just an ordinary chair, there was a Ten Rings flag on the wall, and Y/N was clutching at the bars of a cell, looking at him in horror.

He didn’t even get a second to process it before they were on him. Blows to his face and head, a rifle stock to his ribs. Then the questions started.

“What did you do to the warheads?”

“We know you were in there, what did you do?”

“Did you reprogram them?”

“Who do you work for?”

Hit after hit, question after question, and he just sat there, glowering stoically at his attackers. As interrogators went, they were relatively unimaginative—blunt force trauma, hands and fists, the same questions repeated over and over. Bucky spat a wad of blood at them. He could do this all day if he had to.

“Stop.”

The voice was low but commanding. Instantly, the interrogators fell away. A quiet little laugh. Bucky’s vision swam and one eye was glued shut, but he glared up at the new threat anyway.

“You two aren’t very bright, are you?”

The man was dressed benignly from his smooth button up right down to the tips of his polished shoes, a clean cut haircut over forgettable features. He looked like an accountant. He smirked bemusedly at the two interrogators, shoving his hands in his pockets as he stepped into view.

“Do you have any idea who this is? No?” he shook his head. “This is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. _The Winter Soldier_. You’re not going to get anything out of him, the Soldier was birthed in a torture chamber and baptized in blood. Besides—he’s not the one with the information I need.” He turned towards the cell.

“…is he, sweetheart?”

Y/N stepped back from the bars, her face a blank mask. The man smiled coldly and pointed to Bucky. “You see, gentlemen, that is a blunt tool.”

He stepped a little closer to the cell, cocking head slightly as he looked at Y/N. “This right here, though…this is a precision instrument. She’s the one that hacked Hammer’s security, and she’s the one that disabled the warheads.”

A jerk of the man’s head, and they pulled Bucky from the chair. He fought them, already realizing they planned on interrogating Y/N instead of him. His arms felt like lead weights and his legs wouldn’t support him, but he managed to bring one down before he fell.

Then the band on his arm activated and the world dissolved in a crackle of electricity, and Bucky passed out.

When he came to again, they had her in the chair. From the swipe of blood across her cheek, it looked like she’d already tried to fight them, and her eyes blazing with malevolent hate.

“All right, let’s start with introductions. My name is Jackson Norriss, and I suspect you already know who I work for. You’ve taken something from me. I want it back.” A pause. “This is the part where you tell me _your_ name, and who _you_ work for.”

Bucky felt sick. He knew what was coming. Y/N sat rigid in the chair, and her eyes met his. Fear, yes. There was fear there, but burning brightly above it was anger and determination.

_The girl had spirit…but spirit can be broken._

Bucky was afraid for her, but he didn’t show it. He mouthed her name, returning her gaze and trying to convey strength to her, because that was all he was capable of doing. The stun band had left him mostly paralyzed again, and he watched helplessly as Norris sighed and began stripping off his suit jacket.

“Oh, honey, this is going to go a lot better for you if you just cooperate.”

A loud crack echoed off the walls as he viciously backhanded her. His hand gripped her jaw, painfully squeezing and twisting her face to meet his.

“You’re good at what you do, I’ll give you that, but nobody’s perfect. You bypassed the motion sensors, but there were also heat sensors hidden in the sublevel of the security matrix. Hammer security picked up on your body heat the minute you entered the vault.”

He released her. Blood trickled out of the corner of her mouth, and she glared at the floor. She was furious, Bucky saw, but not at him—at herself.

“Hammer security wanted to take care of the problem themselves, but I insisted on meeting you. After all, it is our merchandise you ruined, and they can be a bit…ham handed in their methods. You’d probably already be dead.” He stood and walked over to a low table. “We’ve got a bit more finesse than that.”

A nod from him, and they stripped Y/N of her hoodie, leaving her in her tee shirt and jeans. Her jaw and fist were clenched, her expression carefully blank, but Bucky could see the pulse hammering in her throat. She was terrified.

Frantically, he struggled, but his body refused to obey. His head fell back against the dirt, and he watched as Norriss approached her, syringe in hand.

“Truth serum?” she growled. “Really?”

Norriss laughed good naturedly. “Oh, no. No, there’s no such thing as truth serum—wouldn’t that be nice though? Just one little prick of a needle and you’ll spill all the secrets in that pretty little head of yours.” He considered the small vial in his hands. “No, this is much more reliable than mind altering drugs, although it is a bit messier.”

Y/N sucked in a breath and Bucky’s heart clenched as Norriss unceremoniously shoved the needle under her skin, emptying its contents into her vein.

“This merely increases the amount of input your pain receptors can handle. In layman’s terms, you’re _really_ gonna feel it.”

Bucky tried to call out to her, to do something, but all he was able to muster was a strangled groan. He watched helplessly as Norriss held out his hand, and a branding iron was place in it. The symbol on the end was that of Ten Rings.

“Last chance. What did you do to the warheads?”

Her reply simultaneously made Bucky’s heart swell with pride, and then sent it plummeting straight to his stomach.

“Fuck. You.”

Norriss shrugged and pressed the iron to her forearm, and Bucky’s eyes instinctively snapped shut against the sound of her screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, I posted this to Tumblr and totally forgot to post it to here yesterday. Normally I'll post on Wednesdays!


	3. Unyielding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: **18+ NSFW**, Language, Whump, Blood, and Graphic Violence, Torture (Specifically Waterboarding, Branding, Flogging, Electrocution), Panic Attack, Depression, Talk of Death  
> Warnings: *18+*, Language, Enemies to Lovers, Blood and Graphic Violence, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Angst, Aftermath of Torture/Recovery, Smut, Fluff, A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a torture scene (a very weird thing to be saying) and I have tried to make it as realistic as possible. I have done a lot of research, one reason that this chapter was a little late, and it was very difficult to write--balancing plot with character development, trying to remain authentic to the subject material but not go overboard. That being said, this chapter is ROUGH, and I am not kidding about the trigger warnings. Please heed them.
> 
> **If you are under 18, you should not be reading this. Please heed the warnings, they are there for your safety. Your media consumption is your responsibility, not mine, you have been warned.**

Once, when you were fourteen, you broke your arm skateboarding. Not just a simple break—oh no—a compound fracture of the ulna, the bone poking grotesquely out of your skin like a pincushion. Go big or go home.

As could be expected, it was utter agony. But it wasn’t just the pain. It was the shocking gleam of bone poking through your skin—something that should be inside but was now on the outside—and the horrified and nauseous looks on your friends faces as you writhed on the ground. Up until the exact moment the branding iron touched your skin, you had thought that a broken arm was the worst pain a human being could possibly endure.

You were wrong. It could get worse. Oh, so much worse.

Even after they pulled the iron from your skin, the pain didn’t stop. If anything, it intensified, the cold air hitting the ruined flesh, overloaded nerve endings crackling with white heat all the way up your arm. You felt it in your teeth, in every shuddering breath. It felt like your skin was melting, and you didn’t even realize you were the one screaming until Norriss cracked you across the face again.

“There. Now that I have your attention, let’s try again. Who do you work for, and what were you doing at Hammer Industries?”

“F-Fuck off.”

Behind him, you could see Bucky. He was weakly trying to pull himself into a sitting position, his dead arm hanging uselessly at his side, but he was still shaking too hard to do much more than scrabble against the bars with his good hand. His eyes were riveted on you.

His face was expressionless, but those eyes—in them you saw the same horrified look that your friends had all those years ago. He felt your terror. He felt your pain, almost as if the iron had touched his skin instead of yours.

Your overburdened senses were screaming at you. The air too cold, the room too loud and the lights too bright, the stench of burnt flesh curdling your stomach.

But for one brief moment as you stared at each other it all winnowed down, and all you could see were the endless depths of those eyes that held yours with a knowing sadness. A presence. A protector, even if he was less than a dozen feet from you and helpless to do more than look at you.

You would have to stand against them on your own for now, but you weren’t _alone_.

And when his eyes hardened over into cold, unfeeling crystals, you felt your own resolve harden with them. Bucky nodded slightly, and you let your gaze slide over to Norriss.

“I’m sorry, am I boring you?” he asked.

For a moment, the only sound that could be heard was your own ragged breathing and the soft patter of blood as it ran down your arm onto the floor. The bastard had sunk the iron in deep, and it throbbed in time with your heartbeat, almost enough to drive you mad.

But you weren’t about to give him anything. Sarcasm was your only armor, and you cinched it about you firmly now.

“A little, maybe,” you panted. “This whole interrogation bit is getting kinda old. We both know I’m not sayin’ shit, so why don’t you just save everybody the headache and cut us loose?”

Norriss sat back, eyebrows raised in amusement. “Or what? You’ll kill us?”

“Oh, yeah—you guys are totally gonna die. But if you let us go right now, maybe we won’t make it too painful. Trust me, I’ve see what the big guy over there can do with that arm, and once that thing gets involved, it ain’t gonna be pretty.”

_Wham!_

A knife materialized in his hand, and he slammed it into your thigh. Norriss leaned forward, face inches from yours as you choked and gasped.

“You don’t seem to be taking this entirely seriously.” His eyes narrowed slightly as if weighing his opponent. He cruelly twisted the knife, burying it deeper, and this time you weren’t able to bite back the scream. “You think you’re being cute, but all you’re doing, sweetheart, is seriously pissing me off.”

He casually rocked back on his heels as you tried to headbutt him.

“It’s okay, though. We’ll break you eventually.”

Your head raised to see Bucky still staring at you. It looked like the shock was wearing off, because he’d managed to pull himself up now, and he shot you a pained glance as he tested strength of the bars with his good hand.

Hope flared. Maybe if you distracted them enough, Bucky could break out.

Norriss nodded to the guards, and wrenched the knife from your leg. They dragged you to your feet without bothering to untie you, instead looping the rope over a hook mounted high in the wall. Hands gripped the back of your shirt and roughly tore it off.

“Jeez guys, at least buy me dinner first,” you said with more courage than you felt. “I really liked that shirt.”

That flippant comment earned you a punch in the kidneys. You coughed, pressing your forehead to the filthy wall as the edges of your vision greyed out.

It probably wasn’t the best idea to antagonize them, but it was all you had. The truth was, you were terrified. The pain was already more than you could handle, your grip on reality tenuous at best. If you didn’t hold onto your wits, you’d be left a sobbing mess on the floor, giving up the information as fast as you could spit it out.

So you would make them angry. Make them lose focus. Maybe even make a mistake. You just had to hold out long enough for Sam and the others to find you, because they had to know you’d missed the check-in by now.

Giving up the codes held consequences too horrible to even think about.

Something brushed your cheek, and you gasped, pulling back at the sensation. Norriss was brushing what looked like a thin, bamboo cane down the side of your face.

“Innocuous little thing, isn’t it? Kind of like you. Funny how the tiniest things in life can end up being such a colossal pain in the ass.”

He brought the cane down against the wall, inches from your face, and you flinched. Again and again until the end was split.

Then it landed without warning across your lower back.

Again.

And again.

And again.

His voice was a low snarl in your ear. “We know you hacked Hammer’s mainframe. What were you doing there?”

_Crack!_

“What were you doing there? Who sent you?”

Another blow landed, and you yelped. “Okay—Okay! I’ll tell you.”

The cane halted midair and you panted against the stones, trying to catch your breath as you felt sticky warmth trickle down your back. _Fucking assholes._

“I’m waiting.”

“I’m w-with the Geek Squad…you know, Best Buy?” you chuckled darkly. “Your anti-virus s-software’s out of date…you really should update it soon because if you wait too long—"

_Crack!_

This time you actually fainted, and a few blissful moments passing before you were roughly yanked back to reality.

“What.”

Another lash across your shoulders.

“Did you do.”

This one across your ribs. They must be running out of skin.

“To the missiles?”

Nothing left you lips but a tortured wheeze and a wad of blood from where you’d bitten your tongue. Not trusting yourself to say anything at the moment, you just leaned your forehead against the wall and shivered.

“Where’s the quippy comebacks, hmm? Starting to get to you?”

You laughed, the sound low and half crazed.

“Do you think this is a joke?”

“Your f-face is a joke.” Not your best line, but hey.

Norriss straightened. He let out a sigh and patted your shoulder. The gesture would have almost been soothing if it weren’t for the squelch of blood under his palm.

“That’s okay. Everybody’s got a breaking point—we just need to find yours.”

***

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours later when they stopped. You were floating on a cloud of pain, hovering in some twilight reaches of consciousness.

“Stop. She’s had enough for now—keep going and she won’t even know the difference.” The voice, sounding strangely muffled— _Norriss_ , your mind supplied blearily—was moving away now. “Get her down and toss her back in the cell. Give her some time to really let this first session sink in.”

Your bonds were cut free and you dropped like a stone. The guards didn’t even attempt to catch you, your knees striking the hard dirt floor and shooting a brilliant jolt of fresh pain up your leg.

The sudden position change combined with the screaming agony in your leg sent your stomach lurching in reverse and you threw up, noting with a detached satisfaction that most of it ended up on the guards shoes.

No bad deed goes unpunished though, and the guard promptly planted a boot in your stomach.

“Fucking bitch.”

The guards dragged you over to the cell. Dimly, you could see Bucky hunched against the far wall, his head in his hands. He looked broken.

But it was just a ruse.

As soon as the key turned over in the lock, he was on his feet, choke slamming one of the guards into the bars. You had no idea he could move that fast. You heard the sickening sound of neck bones breaking, and he threw the body towards the men gathered in the corner as he tore the gun from the other guard’s holster and kicked him hard in the chest.

Bucky never got the chance to pull the trigger.

Body seizing, locked up and crashing down on his knees. Norriss strode forward with the remote in his hands, and you cried out as the guard clubbed Bucky across the back of the head with his rifle.

“Well, I guess we found out how long it takes that thing to wear off,” he remarked dryly. He nodded to the dead guard as you and Bucky were dragged back into the cell. “Get rid of that, and call in Decker. Get him set up.”

The footsteps retreated, and you were alone.

Slowly, painfully, you dragged yourself over to Bucky. You wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and dissolve into tears, but you wouldn’t let yourself. Bucky had fought for you, and if he could still fight, then so could you.

You gathered him into your arms as best you could and rested his head in your lap, gingerly leaned back against the stone wall. It was probably filthy, but what the hell—it was icy cold and instantly numbed the bloody welts on your back. Infection was the very least of your concerns.

Bucky’s eyelids fluttered as your ran your fingers through his hair. Not waking up, just an involuntary muscle spasm as his body tried to shake off the effects of the electricity. His face was relaxed. Serene almost, if it wasn’t for the bruises and the blood, and you choked back a sob at the sight of him.

This was your fault. This was all your fault. They had hurt him, and they had hurt you, all because you got too cocky. Pushing the limits, going outside of the scope of the mission. Not checking the Vault properly because you thought you had their security system beat. You hadn’t been able to keep up with him when he tried to save your sorry ass, and you’d dragged him down with you instead.

Bucky had been right. You never should have been on this mission. You were dead weight, and now, thanks to your own well-fed ego, you were both placed at the mercy of Ten Rings. 

“I’m sorry, Bucky, you were right,” you whispered, wiping away the blood from his temple. “You were right. I’m so sorry.”

His handsome features wavered as the tears fell and you closed your eyes, giving in to the exhaustion and despair.

***

You woke curled on your side, surprisingly warm. Blinking first in confusion and then in disappointment, you discovered that no, you had not in fact been magicked out of the cell. Instead, you were lying in the dirt and staring at the bars, two arms wrapped protectively around you.

One flesh, and one metal.

Bucky had stripped off his own shirt and wrapped you in it. Looking down, you saw he had also torn strips off the hem and had bound the wounds on your leg and your arm. The shirt was huge on you, and judging by the wetness, you’d already bled through the back of it, but the gesture alone brought fresh tears to your eyes.

The pain wasn’t gone, but it had faded to a dull ache at least. Mostly, you just felt numb, both in mind and spirit.

Scrubbing a hand down your face, you rolled towards Bucky, instantly regretting that decision as every nerve in your body flared in protest. A hoarse groan escaped your lips, and you felt him shift behind you.

Not too much time had passed, because he was still shaky and weak from the last shock. Still, he murmured your name and tried to help you sit, peering anxiously into your eyes. His mouth opened and closed a couple times, and gently, you caught his hand.

“You okay?”

Bucky huffed in disbelief. “Me? I’m fine, I…you…” his throat clicked and he squeezed his eyes shut before finding yours again. “Y/N, I—”

You didn’t get to hear what he had to say.

“Who’s ready for round two?”

The door to your cell was yanked open and a guard walked in, brandishing the remote at Bucky threateningly. “Back against the wall, metal man, or I’ll light you the fuck up.”

Bucky sat back. Even you could see was in no condition to launch an assault like last time, but his body still tensed as you were dragged out of the cell.

Without hesitating, the guard brought you over to a table, where you saw your laptop and equipment set up. From the corner, Norriss and someone who only could only be another hacker grinned back triumphantly as your finger was pressed against the laptop’s scanner, unlocking it instantly.

You blinked. “You guys couldn’t have done this to begin with?”

“You needed to understand the seriousness of the situation,” Norriss said. “Now, let’s see what you were up to.”

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

The hacker chuckled. “What—got some super-secret files from the Avengers on here? Yeah—we know who you work for now. Shouldn’t have left Stark Technology at the scene.”

“No, I just don’t want you lookin’ through my porn stash. Shit’s embarrassing.”

Straightening as best you could in the guard’s grip, you watched as the hacker frowned and started delving in to your files. You bit your lip to hide a grin, knowing what was about to happen. Your entire body was a throbbing ball of pain, but you still couldn’t help looking over towards Bucky’s pale face and tipping him a saucy wink.

“Looks like the last thing she did was to change the launch codes, sir. She—” The words were choked off in a yelp, and the hacker shot backwards as the laptop sparked and began to smoke.

“What the—"

“Oops, my bad. I forgot to mention the failsafe. Activates after thirty seconds if you don’t put in the right passcode.”

Norriss was furious. “Can you salvage it?”

“No, sir. Hard drive’s toast.” The hacker tentatively poked at the still smoldering remains, looking up at his boss sheepishly.

Norriss stared at you, face blank except for the muscle ticking in his jaw. “Get the hose.”

Your stomach lurched, and you hear Bucky’s strangled cry behind you. You had no idea what Norriss meant, but Bucky did, and you had the sinking feeling you were about to find out.

A long, low table with straps was wheeled out, and a thrill of panic shot down your spine.

Nothing good ever came from tables with restraints on them.

Your feet dug into the ground and you fought back, earning you a knee right to your injured leg. The guard quickly flipped you onto the table, tightening the straps.

Without warning, the head of the table was lowered, and a rag was draped over your face. Before you could even adjust to the vertigo and the filthy rag, water flooded over your face, and you were drowning.

You thrashed. An instant panic attack hit as you tried to suck air around the sopping cloth, only to draw in more water.

You couldn’t breathe.

Water in your nose and in your eyes and in your mouth and _oh God it hurts!_

The cloth was torn away. You coughed and sputtered, cold air hitting your lungs and throat like knives. Before you could even blink the upside down room back into focus, the rag was back.

It felt like eons, but this time it was only a few seconds before you passed out.

They had you conscious again in seconds, a brutal slap to your face as you coughed up water and blood from your ruptured sinus cavities.

“Had enough yet?”

“F-Fuck—”

Back went the rag, and the water poured.

It was endless. The searing agony. Brought to the brink and back again, over and over again until you could barely tell the minutes apart, screams drowned to low gurgles and desperate gasps for air.

Dimly, you registered the sound of metal hitting metal, and Bucky screaming your name. Then the crackle of electricity, and the hose was back.

_Bucky! Bucky, help me! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—_

This was it. You were dying now. If it wasn’t the hose then your heart was going to give out, thundering away in panic as your struggles grew weaker and weaker.

“Just give us the codes, and this will all be over.”

It took you a few moments to even register that someone was speaking to you. You were sobbing openly now, but at the sound of that hated voice you felt a wave of fury wash over you. Wrenching your eyes open, you glared at Norriss with all the venom you could muster.

“…m-might as well…k-kill me…asshole…”

The splash of the water on the stone floor was your only warning.

It went on for a long time.

***

“I’m glad to see we’re finally getting somewhere. You’re a lot more agreeable when you’re half dead.”

You were back in the chair, and had absolutely no idea how you got there. Norriss was sitting opposite you, head cocked and peering at you as if you were an intricate puzzle he was trying to solve.

Your only response was to sit there and shiver at him. Even that almost took more energy than you had. Still you lifted your head, seeking out Bucky. Just knowing he was there with you gave you a comfort you knew you didn’t deserve.

But Norriss was watching you as well. “You know, the more I watch you, the more I realize, I think we may have been going about this the wrong way. You’re a stubborn little thing, but I think I found something that just might loosen your tongue.”

He held up the remote for the stun band, and pushed the button.

Bucky immediately collapsed with a strangled scream. Seconds passed as he convulsed on the ground, but Norriss just kept pressing the button.

You realized he wasn’t going to stop.

“Stop.”

His grin widened.

“Stop it. Stop it, _please_.” Desperation had started to leech into your voice, but Norriss continued.

“Stop! You’re killing him!”

“Looks painful,” Norriss observed. He wasn’t watching Bucky, though. He was watching you. “It should be—that’s sixty thousand volts flowing through him right now. I know he’s a super soldier and all, but how long do you think it’ll take before his heart gives out?”

Bucky was turning blue now, eyes rolled back as the cords in his neck stood out, chest frozen in a rictus too strong to draw a clean breath.

“STOP! I’ll do it! I’ll help you!”

You coughed a sob as Norriss let up.

“Codes,” he demanded.

“Th-the codes…it’s not that simple.” It was still hard to speak, your mouth not wanting to form the words properly. “I need to do it, and I need to be spliced into the warheads’ control systems. If that half assed h-hacker of yours tries, he’ll blow you all to kingdom come.”

Norriss leaned in, staring you down. “You better not be lying to me, girl. One wrong move on your part and I will flay your precious soldier alive.”

He stood suddenly. Distantly, you heard him barking orders, but the ringing in your ears all but drowned him out as you were dragged from the chair and unceremoniously dumped back into the cell.

_Bucky…please let him be okay…_

Slowly, you dragged yourself over to him. You could see he was still breathing, but it looked like he was struggling. Your strength was nearly gone, but you still managed to pull him into your arms, trying to get him into a position where he could breathe better.

Then you buried your face in his hair, and sobbed.

This was it. It was over now. Norriss would have the codes, thousands would die because of you, and then he would kill both you and Bucky.

Sam wasn’t coming. Nobody was coming, because they had no idea where you were. You had failed. You had failed and it was all your fault and—

You exhaled sharply. Nobody knew where you were…except for you.

The address.

The one you had found in Hammer’s server.

Your heart began to race, adrenaline slamming into you with dizzying force. They were going to be watching you closely as you reprogrammed the warheads, but maybe…just maybe…

Maybe you could get a secure message through to FRIDAY.

You clutched Bucky tighter to you, trying to hide the look of hope on your face. Blood loss and pain, combined with the lack of oxygen had nearly fractured your mind and body to pieces, but you grimly held on, pulling yourself back up that slope as you tried to solve the problem.

_You got this. You just have to focus. Hang on, just for a little bit more. Just solve this last problem. You have to hold on, for Bucky. You can’t let him down._

You wouldn’t.

There was noise in the next room, the sounds of something heavy being moved. You ignored it, though. Instead you closed your eyes, the warmth of Bucky’s body grounding you. Someone who had fought so hard to keep you safe, as you now would for him.

You began to plan.


	4. Unbearable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: **18+ NSFW**, Language, Whump, Blood, and Graphic Violence, Mention of Torture, Aftermath of Torture, Gunshot Wounds, Medical Procedures/Terminology, Angst, Guilt/Grief  
> Warnings: *18+*, Language, Enemies to Lovers, Blood and Graphic Violence, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Angst, Aftermath of Torture/Recovery, Smut, Fluff, A Happy Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This is the last overly violent chapter. Please heed the warnings, because there is still a lot of whump and graphic violence.

The first thing to come back to him was his hearing, but it was muted, distorted. Like sticking his head underwater. It took a great effort, but finally Bucky was able to force his eyes open.

At first, he wasn’t sure what he was looking at. His eyes didn’t seem to want to focus on anything, and the more he concentrated, the worse the pounding in his head got. Bucky blinked and tried to move his hand up to his face.

That was a mistake. Pins and needles all down his arm and building to a howling agony as neurons misfired. Bucky wheezed and bit down on the pain, as the Soldier in the back of his mind started supplying unhelpful details.

Loss of gross motor control. Vitals unstable. Nerve damage suspected.

Something bad had happened, but he couldn’t remember what. The last thing he could remember— _dear Christ_ —the last thing he could remember was watching them waterboard her. The sound of her gut-wrenching, watery screams as she thrashed, feeling like his own heart was being ripped from his chest and helpless to do a single thing to stop it.

_God, did they kill her? Please, no. Please, please god, no. Not her. Fuck, this is all my fault. All my fault…please let her be okay…please let her be alive…_

Bucky honestly didn’t know. He couldn’t remember. Whatever they had done to him was far worse that the shocks he had been getting, and those had been bad enough. He couldn’t feel any of his limbs. He couldn’t see straight. Even thinking was difficult, the synapses not quite wanting to make contact with each other.

_Focus, Barnes. C’mon, focus. You shook off the last couple, you can shake this one off too._

Eyes closed as he tried to reboot his body. Systems coming back online. Multiple failures.

Sometimes he wondered just how human he was anymore.

_Please, just let her be alive._

Gradually his vision swam into focus. He was in a different room now, a much larger room, staring at twin banks of warheads, nestled safely in their cradles.

And there, propped between two guards, was Y/N.

Bucky bit back a sob, his relief almost overwhelming. _She was alive_. Almost dead on her feet, but alive.

His stomach clenched. Her clothes were still damp and she shivered slightly in their grip, and he was pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to stand on her own if it wasn’t for them. Water, tinged pink from wounds still oozing blood, dripped onto the floor at her feet. Pain was etched on every inch of her face, and the hopelessness he saw in her eyes was enough to break his heart.

“All right, girl. Time to put your money where your mouth is. Decker—watch her.”

Bucky watched her limp up to the console in confusion, and start typing. She was complying. Whatever had happened while he was out, it must have been enough to break her.

Then the muzzle of a rifle was cruelly jammed against his temple, and he understood.

“One wrong move and I’ll put a bullet in his brain. Codes. Now.”

They’d used him to get to her. After everything she’d been through, that’s what had done it.

Bucky watched helplessly as she worked. Arming the warheads. Helping them in order to spare _him_. Now he felt more than useless—he felt like a liability. Not only had he been unable to save her from this, they’d used him against her to gain her compliance.

Finally, she pushed back from the console, eyes never lifting from the floor.

“Sit.” Norriss roughly shoved her to the floor next to Bucky. “Decker, get in there and run a full operational check. Everybody else, get ready to move out.”

Bucky blinked as Norriss crouched down in front of them, eyes sliding first from her, to him.

“I have several people who are very excited to meet you, Sergeant Barnes. I understand the Winter Soldier protocol has been removed, but the serum is still in you.” He cocked his head as if Bucky were a particularly interesting insect he’d caught in his web. “The Ten Rings will be your new home—even a blunt tool has its uses.”

His gaze shifted to Y/N. “You, however, the Mandarin would like to personally express his sentiments to you, although I’m afraid you won’t enjoy them much. No one steals from us, and for that sin, you will soon suffer horribly with a hole in your body for every ring of our faith.”

Silence.

Norriss scoffed and walked back over to where the hacker was running the tests. Bucky wasn’t sure what angered him more, the thought of being put back into service, or the beaten down look in her eyes.

He tried to get his mouth to work, but all he managed was a strangled moan. Y/N murmured his name and weakly tugged him into her lap, pressing her cheek against his forehead. Her skin was cold and clammy.

“Sam’s coming,” she whispered in his ear.

He couldn’t have heard that right. “H-H…ow”

“Secure message to FRIDAY, slipped into the subscript. It started broadcasting the second he started running his tests.”

Bucky could’ve kissed her. She was so brave, _so fucking smart_ —even now, she was still fighting. He tried to get up, tried to tell her, but another spasm wracked his body and he groaned.

“Shh…I’ve got you…don’t try to move just yet. They really did a number on you.”

_Look who’s talking._

She looked like she was seconds from collapsing herself. Fingers trembling as she petted his head, the stubborn intensity he usually saw in her eyes given way to concern.

A commotion started up over by the missiles, and Bucky saw a flicker of a smile across her lips.

“Shit—shit!” The hacker was furiously pounding away at the keyboard.

“Decker, what—”

“She put a virus in the system—fuck! It’s been broadcasting our location the whole time!”

“Can you stop it?”

“No, I—I don’t—maybe?”

“Boss, we’ve got bigger problems—couple aircraft spotted, east side. Comin’ in low.”

Everything happened very fast after that.

A distant explosion rocked the building. Dust rained down on the scattering soldiers. Y/N curled her body over Bucky to protect him from the falling debris as more explosions mixed in with the sound of gunfire. She started to scoot them both back towards cover.

Then Norriss’ hand wrapped around her arm and yanked her up, and he saw the barrel of a gun swing down to her forehead.

Y/N pushed at the gun as the shot went wide, but all she succeeded in doing was bringing Norriss down on top of her. Bucky choked back a yell, trying to will his body into movement. The two struggled, a deadly push and pull as they both scrabbled for control of the weapon.

Then another shot, muffled and point blank, and both bodies lay still.

Norriss crawled to his knees, breathing heavily, the gun still smoking in his hand. Fury twisting at his features, he lowered the gun again, aiming for the kill shot.

It never came.

Something small and red collided with his shoulder, knocking him to the side. _Red Wing_. The sound of gunfire intensified, and Bucky saw Sam and Sharon move through the open door, weapons drawn.

Y/N saw them too. A small little smile was on her face as she watched the scene unfold.

_She did it. She really did it._

Then his own smile faded as he saw the growing pool of crimson underneath her.

“…n-no…no, no….”

His fingers twitched towards her, but that was about it. Y/N blinked slowly and reached over to take his hand.

“…’s okay…Buck.” She swallowed thickly, eyes drifting closed for a long beat before opening again. “…over now…”

_No, no please! Don’t give up! Don’t let go—not now! I need you!_

“S-Stay…stay…” His fingers tightened around hers, trying to keep her with him.

Then there was more shouting, and Sam was skidding to his knees between them. Barking orders as he put pressure on the wound, and Bucky lost sight of Y/N momentarily.

“Barnes—Barnes can you stand?” Sharon was tilting his face towards her.

“No…a-arm…”

Her eyes flicked briefly down to the device around his cybernetic arm, but at least she knew better than to try to remove it there. Bucky rolled his head, trying to get another look at Y/N, but Sam was picking her up in his arms now and moving quickly towards the exit.

“Smith!” Sharon shouted. “Get over here and help me!”

Between the two of them they managed to drag Bucky up the ramp of the Quinjet. Sam was already there, bent over Y/N as they strapped him onto the adjacent med cot.

“Sharon! Get us out of here! Brief Helen, tell her we’ve got incoming.”

_“Captain Wilson, I’ve already taken the liberty of notifying the medical center of the incoming casualties.”_

“Thanks, FRIDAY,” Sam grunted as the jet took off.

Bucky couldn’t see much from his position, but he could see enough. It wasn’t good. Sam was bent over the wound, cursing under his breath as he fumbled for supplies.

_“Captain Wilson, I’ve completed scans of both Sergeant Barnes and Miss Y/L/N. Sergeant Barnes is showing signs of nerve damage and paralysis indicative of prolonged exposure to electrical shock. His vitals are weakened but stable. Miss Y/L/N’s condition is critical, multiple injuries, she—”_

“I’ve got it, FRIDAY—Sharon, I could really use a hand, here!”

“Where do you need me, Sam?”

“Can you start an IV? I’ve got to find this bleeder before—"

_“Patient is in hypovolemic shock. Blood pressure is dropping.”_

“Sharon, push fluids to get that BP back up, and get a transfusion started.”

“On it.”

“Shine that light over here—no—yeah, right there,” Sam said, his voice unnaturally calm. “I think it punctured her liver.”

Blood was dripping onto the deck. Bucky watched with a detached horror as Sam tried to save her, the feeling surreal, almost like an out of body experience.

_She can’t be—she can’t die. She can’t, not after everything. I can’t lose her like this._

“Got it. Hand me that hemostat.”

_“Patient is in respiratory arrest, intubation is—"_

“FRIDAY will you shut the hell up? I got this. Sharon?”

“Done. How’s that bleed look?”

Alarms blared. Not tearing his eyes away from the wound, he jerked his chin to the overhead cabinet. “Epinephrine. Top left. 1 mg in the IV.”

_Please, Y/N. C’mon sweetheart, fight._

“Got it!” It was the most emotion Sam had shown yet, and he stood back with a relieved look on his face as he watched the monitors settle out. “Not great, but good enough. Okay, I’m gonna pack this and triage the rest, Sharon, can you check on Barnes?”

“Yeah.” Her face swung into view, pale but also looking relieved.

“Y/N…is…is she…” The words were coming a bit easier now, but he still felt wrong.

“She’s in good hands, Barnes. Sam’s got her. Are you in any pain?”

“Some…mostly just numb. Don’t worry about me. H-Help her.”

Sharon’s face softened. “She’s gonna be okay, Barnes. Sam’s with her. Let’s have a look at your arm.”

“Stop! Don’t—don’t touch it. R-Remote.”

Sharon fumbled in her cargo pocket, and pulled out the remote, of all things. She gave him a wry smile when she saw the look on his face.

“Pulled this off your buddy—the tall pasty guy? Figured it was important.”

Just the mention of him sent a surge of rage through his veins. “He dead?”

“In custody along with the rest of the cell. The second jet’s transporting them back to the Compound. It’s over.”

Bucky just closed his eyes wearily. It was far from over. Y/N was still very badly injured, and as soon as he was sure she was going to be all right, he intended to return each hurt, each degradation to Norriss tenfold.

***

Bucky sat in the hard plastic chair, absently rubbing at his flesh arm. It was still somewhat numb, but at least his cybernetic arm was back in working order. Next to him, the Regeneration Cradle whirred.

Y/N had been in there for sixteen hours so far. Still sedated from the surgery to repair the damage caused by the gunshot wound, eyes closed and looking like she was simply asleep.

Bucky had spent most of that time on bedrest himself, as the serum worked to heal the damage to his nervous system. Helen told him that he should be dead, taking a prolonged shock at that voltage, but Bucky had just laughed darkly. It wasn’t like that was the first time he’d been told that.

Y/N should also be dead, he knew. And if it wasn’t for Sam’s quick actions in the Quinjet, she would be.

Then again, if she hadn’t thought to covertly send out the distress message to FRIDAY, they’d both be dead. Or worse.

“How’s she doing?” Sam asked quietly as he sat in the chair next to him.

“Okay, I guess. She came through the surgery well, they’ve got her in there now working on the rest of it.”

“How long does she have left in there?”

Bucky shrugged. “That thing’s working on her arm now, it’s already fixed the wounds on her back. Helen was able to surgically remove the burn mark, and it’s just…printing new tissue.”

Sam shook his head in disbelief. “A long way from WWII medicine, huh? Like it never even happened.”

Bucky clenched his jaw. Sure, the scars would be gone. Not a mark on her. But Y/N would continue to feel the ghosts of them for the rest of her life.

“What they did to her…you don’t just walk away from something like that, Sam.”

“No,” he agreed. “But she’s got you, and she’s got the rest of us to help her through it. Y/N’s strong.”

Bucky knew that. Maybe not before, but dear god did he know it now. There were many different types of strength in this world, and she was the strongest person he had ever met.

He had been so wrong about her.

Sam was looking at him intently. “I can see the wheels turning in there. What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

“C’mon—she wasn’t the only one who went through something. Talk to me.”

Damn him. There was never any fooling him, and he knew Sam would just keep pestering him. Bucky sighed.

“Have you ever been completely helpless, watching as the one you were supposed to protect got hurt?”

“Yes.”

Bucky frowned, and then he remembered. “Shit, Sam, I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, man. It wasn’t the same as what happened to you, but yeah. I can understand it. I was supposed to have Riley’s back, and I let him fall. I saw that RPG hit him, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.”

Bucky blinked back tears. “They waterboarded her, Sam.”

“I know.”

“They branded her and beat her and she never cracked. Not until they started in on me. And even then she was smart enough to double cross them.” His voice broke. “And what did I do? Not a damn thing. I was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to get her out. What the hell am I good for if I can’t even protect the ones I care about?”

If Sam heard the slip up, he didn’t show it. He nodded to the figure in the chamber. “She’s alive. She’s here, you’re here, and the asshole that did this is currently downstairs behind twelve inches of reinforced plexiglass.”

“Norriss.” The name was a curse on his lips.

“Yeah. Jackson Norriss. A former SHIELD Agent, apparently allied with the Ten Rings now. Rumor has it he’s the one who broke Trevor Slattery out of prison, killed a whole bunch of guards to do it.”

“He been interrogated yet?”

“No, we—”

“I want to do it,” he growled. Sam looked at him for a long moment.

“Okay, man. Let’s just focus on getting you both healthy first. Norriss ain’t going anywhere.” Sam jerked a thumb at Bucky’s arm. “How’re you doing anyway? Helen said you took quite a hit.”

“I’ll be fine. Just about healed up anyway.”

“There isn’t any way I could coax you into getting some shuteye, is there? I can watch her.”

Bucky finally looked up at him. “I’m not leaving her Sam. I—thank you for the offer, and for what you said earlier, but I’m just gonna stay here.”

Sam nodded, pulling out his phone and settling back into the chair.

Bucky frowned. “What’re you doing?”

Sam looked at him as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Sitting up with a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Whew! And there endeth the Whump. Hope it wasn’t too bad for everybody, Next up, much healing and feels.


	5. Unsteady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: **18+ NSFW**, Language, Aftermath of Torture, Disorientation/Panic Attack, Self-Loathing, Angst, Fluff.

When you woke up, you were alone.

The room was dark—it must still be night—and you still felt tired. Very tired.

But your pillow was cool and the room was quiet, so you scrunched back down under the covers, rubbing your hands over blankets that suddenly felt too heavy and coarse to be yours. Something was off.

Memory came slamming back, knocking the breath from your lungs. Smells and sounds lying just beneath the surface, whispering at you darkly that they had been there all along.

_Where the hell am I?_

In the confusion that followed, you found yourself rolling over to grab your phone off your nightstand, only to find that there was a plastic cup of water with a bendy straw there instead. And it wasn’t your nightstand.

Or your bed.

Or your room.

_“That’s okay. Everybody’s got a breaking point—we just need to find yours.”_

That voice. _That voice._

Sneering in your ear, fingers curled around your arm, slippery with your blood. Taunting in his anger. Dragging you back down into the hellhole you thought was only a nightmare.

Or was it?

Because when you pressed trembling hands to your abdomen, there was no wound. You could still smell the gunpowder and feel the impact of the bullet. No brand mark on your arm, even though you could still feel its burn. No blood and no pain, nothing except the echoes screaming in your head.

_What the hell is happening to me?_

_Was that a dream, or is this?_

The blood was roaring in your ears, and you could feel reality begin to tilt. You gulped in air, trying to stave off the panic attack, gripping the covers to ground yourself.

It could have been minutes or hours, but finally you managed to open your eyes again, calm enough to finally take in your surroundings. A hospital room. Not just any hospital room, though, a hospital room at the Compound, according to that symbol on the wall.

Or was that a lie, too?

You’d never been to the med center of the Compound before, and had no idea what it looked like. Your job normally wasn’t associated with the need for such visits.

_Bucky. Where’s Bucky? Did they take him somewhere? Is he…is he…_

You couldn’t bear to finish that thought. The last thing you could remember was pain, and blood. You’d been hurt badly. You remembered the look on Bucky’s face, trying to reach for you as you felt yourself fade.

But there were no machines, no tubes or wires. Just you in a bed, alone.

You were so confused, and starting to panic again. You didn’t know what was truth and what was a lie, all you knew was that you couldn’t stay there any longer. Not when every second you hesitated made you more vulnerable than the last.

You swung your legs out of bed. They were weak, but they held. For someone who had just woken up you felt so inexplicably tired, but the adrenaline started flowing as you crept towards the door, spurring you on.

The doorknob turned before you could get to it, though, and you snatched up the nearest thing you could find—an IV pole.

The door opened, and you swung.

“Holy shit!” Maybe it was a slow reaction time due to your weakness, but the man through the door was able to duck your swing, the pole slamming into the edge of the door instead. He backed against the wall, both hands raised.

“Who the hell are you?” you growled, brandishing the pole.

“J-Jenkins. Luke Jenkins. I’m just a nursing assistant, I was checking on you. You’re not supposed to be awake yet.”

“Well, Jenkins, it looks like I am. Wanna tell me what the fuck’s going on here?”

“W-What do you mean? Don’t you know where you are?” He seemed genuinely confused, and utterly convinced you were still going to hit him. It made you feel just a little bit bad, and you lowered your impromptu weapon a little. Just a little, though.

“Where’s Bucky?” you demanded.

“Who?”

“Barnes. Where is he? What did you do with—”

“Oh—Sergeant Barnes! He was discharged two days ago.” Jenkins saw your confusion, and backed away, his hands still raised slightly. “Why don’t I get Dr. Cho for you?”

“Dr. Helen Cho? She’s here?” You _did_ know her. You hadn’t had a lot of run ins with her, but you knew for a fact that she worked at the Compound. “Yes, please go get her.”

Five minutes later and she was in your room, coaxing you back down onto the bed. “I’m so sorry about that, Miss Y/L/N, we didn’t expect you to wake for a few more hours.”

“Where’s Sergeant Barnes? Is he okay?”

“He’s just fine, back to full duty status.”

“He’s all right though? The shocks—"

“Fully healed, with no lingering effects. I discharged him a couple days ago.”

“Oh. Good.”

You were relieved he was okay. Beyond relieved, actually. But you were a little bit hurt that he hadn’t been there when you woke up.

_Why the hell would he be there? He hates you. He’s an Avenger, for Christ’s sake. He’s got better things to do than to sit by your bedside for hours on end._

“How are you feeling?” Dr. Cho was taking your vitals, nodding with satisfaction.

“Um, good. Great, I guess. A little confused…what happened to me? I thought…”

She smiled gently. “I can imagine you’re pretty confused. You were brought to the compound critically injured. We surgically repaired the gunshot wound to your abdomen and the knife wound in your thigh, and prepped you for tissue regeneration. You were sedated for the entire process, six hours for the surgery and sixty-two hours in the cradle.”

Naturally, as a tech geek, you’d heard about the famed regeneration cradle. “Is that why…” Dazedly, your fingers traced over the ghosts of the wounds you’d suffered.

“Yes. We were able to surgically repair most of the damage, and the scars and missing tissue was regenerated fully. The only thing the cradle won’t fix is broken bones and bruising, but you didn’t break anything. The few bruises you do have should fade in a couple days.”

You looked past her into the mirror. The bruises you did see on your face had already started fading to green. You pressed it, almost glad for the pain that flared, grounding you and reminding you what was real.

“Now, although your wounds have healed, the cradle does take quite a toll. You’re going to be pretty tired for the next few days, so although I’m discharging you, I’m placing you on light duty. Lots of rest, stay hydrated. I’d like to follow up with you on Thursday, and you should be good to return to work after that.”

“Okay.”

The conversation—the entire situation—seemed surreal. You felt numb. Calm, almost, you brain on autopilot as you took the reminder card and let her help you out of your gown and into a spare pair of scrubs.

_Oh, that’s right. My clothes were ruined. There was probably a lot of blood on them. And holes._

For some reason, that struck you as funny, and you choked back a snort of hysterical laughter.

“You live here at the Compound, right? In the Residential Tower?” Dr. Cho was looking at you funny.

You felt like you were losing your mind, but you didn’t want her to know it. You didn’t want to stay there any longer than you had to. You just wanted something familiar.

“Yeah. I’ve got a couple friends who live there with me, I’ll be okay.” They didn’t live with you precisely, but apparently you’d gotten the point across, and she nodded. 

“Now, if you feel overly weak or dizzy I want you to call me right away. And if you have trouble sleeping, I can prescribe something to help with that, too.”

“Okay. Thank you, Dr. Cho.”

And with that you were out the door. In a borrowed pair of mint green scrubs with anti-slip socks on your feet and half your wits. The rest of your wits were still laying on the floor of that cell.

It actually wasn’t that late, you realized, walking down the hall. The techies—the ones that chose to live at the Compound—were housed on the fifth floor. From the common room you could hear the cheers and the rapid fire of machine guns as a group battled it out onscreen, controllers in hand. You weren’t sure what they were playing tonight, and for the first time in your life, you found that you didn’t care. The smell of the pizza and beer made you sick to your stomach, and you hurried on.

It was better in your apartment. It was the same, chaotic mess you’d left it in. Nothing had changed, even though everything had changed for you. You weren’t the same person that had walked out that door five days ago.

It started to hit you as you undressed to take your shower. Your skin felt wrong. It looked fine, and it seemed fine to the touch, but at the same time it felt like a lie.

The shower was the final straw.

As soon as the water hit your face you panicked. Ripping at a cloth that wasn’t there and fighting back a scream.

_“What did you do to the warheads?”_

_“Just give us the codes and this will all be over.”_

You couldn’t breathe. You slapped at the handle until the water shut off, tripping over the edge of the shower and barely making to the toilet in time for your stomach to upend itself. You didn’t have much to bring up, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

Coughing, you lay there on the floor, pulling a towel down off the rack to cover yourself with. It was only after you started to get cold that you made yourself get up, pulling on the biggest, baggiest pair of sweats you could find, and curling up in your bed.

Bucky. You wanted Bucky. You wanted the comfort he brought, his soft words and his kind, gentle eyes. You wanted to feel his arms around you again, for him to hold you like he had in that cell.

You felt ashamed for how you’d treated him before. Always insulting him, throwing him sass. Borderline disrespectful. You had seen who he really was now, and you wondered how you had never seen it before.

Then again, you had always been to busy running your mouth.

And he had been right about you in the end. It was your ego and your inexperience that had compromised the mission, and it had almost gotten you both killed. Why _would_ he want to stick around, after everything you had put him through?

You’d never felt so low or useless in your entire life. Afraid to close your eyes for fear of what you’d see in your dreams, you stared at the wall, wishing the earth would open you up and swallow you whole.

***

Bucky was furious. Two hours— _two wasted, fucking hours_ —since Fury had dragged him down to the detainment level, all but threatening physical violence. And even then, it was only after Sam gave him “the look” and Dr. Cho adamantly promised him that Y/N wouldn’t be waking up any time soon, that he finally, _reluctantly_ , agreed.

And Norriss had never said a word.

Two hours he sat there with Sam while Fury interrogated him. It was like a bad scene from _Law and Order_ , only there was no “good cop, bad cop.” There was just Fury talking, and Bucky sitting next to him, nearly vibrating with rage. Oh, how he’d love to play bad cop.

While he wasn’t imagining increasingly violent ways to kill Norriss, he was worrying about Y/N. When he’d last left her she was peacefully sleeping off the anesthesia, but every minute that he wasn’t by her side felt like a century.

He didn’t want her to wake up all alone. God only knew how much she remembered from the very end, but to wake up like that, completely healed with only her memories would be traumatic enough itself.

Finally, it was over. Although part of him—the darker part—wanted to hang back a minute and “discuss” his ideas for getting Norriss to talk, most of him just wanted to get back to Y/N.

His anxiety at being away from her for so long began to evaporate as he rounded the corner and passed through the familiar doors to the med center. Helen was at her desk, gathering her things up. It looked like she was getting ready to leave.

“Sergeant Barnes—you’re back.” She looked surprised. “Is something wrong?”

He frowned. “No, I just came down to see Y/N.”

“Oh, she’s not here.”

“What?”

“She woke up a couple of hours ago. She checked out fine, so I discharged her for home rest.”

Bucky blinked. “Was anybody with her? I thought—”

“She woke up earlier than anticipated. She was a little disoriented at first, but—”

“You think? God, I never should have left her. Do you have any idea how much that would screw with her head to wake up like that? She—”

“Sergeant Barnes, please calm down.”

But Bucky was already out the door. Down the hall and into the elevators, angrily mashing the up button as a wave of self-loathing crashed over him.

He’d left her. Once again, he hadn’t been there when she needed him. She must have been so scared waking up like that, after everything she’d been through.

_She probably doesn’t even want to see you. After all, you were the one who failed to protect her in the first place. You were the one who failed to get her out of there._

_You let them hurt her._

Bucky’s fingers drummed a nervous tattoo on his leg as he watched the numbers go up. Regardless of her feelings towards him, he _had_ to see her. He had to make sure she was okay. Not only because he felt responsible for her, but because he cared for her. Much more deeply than he was prepared to admit.

The elevator doors opened on the fifth floor of the Residential Tower. Bucky knew she lived there, he just didn’t know which apartment. Striding down the hallway with singular purpose, he grabbed the first person he saw—a skinny twenty-something with glasses and a faux hawk.

“Where does Y/N live? Which apartment?”

The kid gulped and stammered out an answer, color draining from his face as the full glare of the Winter Soldier was leveled at him. Bucky released him and followed the shaking finger down the hall, oblivious to the stares and whispers at the unusual sight of an Avenger stalking the techie floor.

He paused at her door, gathering his courage and tamping down his emotions, and knocked.

***

You groaned as you rolled out of bed and shuffled to the door. News of your return had apparently spread like wildfire, and your coworkers had been practically banging down your door, wanting to know how your mission had gone. Worn out by your thoughts and your overeager coworkers, you had just started to drift off to sleep when yet another knock on your door woke you.

“Cam, I swear to god, if you don’t stop banging on my fucking door, I’m gonna—"

It was not Cam. It was Bucky.

He looked like hell. Dark circles under stormy eyes full of pain and regret, his usually clean shaven face sporting a healthy scruff. Clothes rumpled like he’d been sleeping in them. He just stood there, staring at you slack jawed, and at the sight of him it all came rushing back to you at once. All the pain, the fear, the anger.

All of it.

Bucky’s face fell. In two strides he was through the door, pulling you into his arms before you could crumple. An embrace as gentle and careful as if you were made of glass, yet you still felt the underlying strength there, sheltering you. You could finally let go.

Silent tears at first, giving way to great heaving sobs as it all came crashing down. Bucky held you as you shook in his arms, finally picking you up and carrying you over to the couch when your legs wouldn’t hold you up anymore. Still, he refused to release you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it, Y/N. I’m sorry I couldn’t—”

His chest caught, and you felt his jaw clench as he clutched you tighter. “I’m sorry…”

You pushed back, shocked to see his eyes red with unshed tears. “Bucky, what do you have to be sorry for?”

“Everything. I was supposed to protect you, and I didn’t. They—they hurt you, they—god, you almost died.” His voice broke on the last word.

You sniffed back your own tears, coming back to reality now that the initial dam had been breached. You were so surprised to see him, so surprised at his words that you didn’t even notice how he leaned into your touch when you reached up to brush the tears from his cheek.

“Bucky, this is all my fault. It was my idea to go off script, I was the one that got us caught. You did everything you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.” Bucky cradled your face in his hands. “Sweetheart, none of this is your fault. None of it. What you did, it was incredible. It was…”

He drifted off, shaking his head. The way he was looking at you was making your head spin.

“I-I thought you hated me,” you said. “The way I treated you, I fucked things up so badly.”

“I don’t hate you. _I don’t hate you_ , Y/N, I…I…” He started to say something but thought better of it. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up. I tried to stay as long as I could, but Fury wasn’t taking no for an answer, and I—”

“What do you mean, you stayed?”

Bucky closed his eyes wearily. “When you were in medical. For the surgery, and then after, when you were in the cradle. Helen and Sam both tried to make me go, but I wanted to be there when you woke up. I wasn’t though. I’m so sorry.”

You didn’t know what to do with that. Thee days. Bucky had stayed by your side for almost three days. And the way he was looking at you…warmth bloomed around your heart, and all you wanted was to climb into his arms and never leave.

Bucky brushed his fingers over your temple, leaving little trails of warmth in their wake.

“You look so tired,” he said sadly. “Have you been able to get any sleep yet?”

“Have you?”

Bucky huffed. “Don’t worry about me. You should get some rest, you need it. I’ll just—”

“Will you stay?”

The words were out of your mouth before you knew what you were saying. But you did want him to stay. You did. You weren’t sure what these feelings were, all you knew is that you wanted him there with you.

Bucky exhaled sharply, eyes wide. “You want me to stay?”

“I-If you do.” Suddenly you felt embarrassed. What were you thinking? You curled your arms around yourself and shook your head. “Sorry. Sorry, it’s a bad idea, I know. I’m such a fucking mess, I—”

“No, no! No, you’re not a mess. I can only imagine what that was like, waking up alone.” Gently, he grasped both your elbows. “I’ll stay as long as you want me too. I want to. C’mon.”

A hesitant little smile, and he kicked off his shoes, climbing into bed after you, fully clothed. Any awkwardness you might have felt evaporated as soon as he pulled you back into his chest.

“Just try to get some sleep, okay? I’ll be right here the entire time, I promise. I won’t leave you.”

“Thank you, Bucky.”

In the darkness, you felt him smile against your hair. A little tingle, some emotion yet unknown to you as you felt him sweetly press his lips just behind your ear, kissing you goodnight. It was chaste at best, but it still sparked something.

What that something was, you never got to examine. The weight of the past few days and the mental stresses of the past few hours had taken their toll. Snuggled into the safety and warmth of Bucky’s embrace, a man you’d loathed less than a week ago, you finally fell asleep.

***

Sleep did not come easily to Bucky.

He was tired, but just as he was drifting off, Y/N started twitching and whimpering, deep in the throes of a nightmare. Soft cries that broke his heart, knowing that she was reliving the trauma. Torture that would have easily broken a seasoned agent, torture that had bravely met head on and beaten.

Now he was seeing just how deeply it had hurt her.

“Shh…you’re safe. You’re safe, Y/N, I’ve got you. I’m here.” Over and over he murmured the words, his heart breaking just a little bit more when she curled into him and buried her face in his shoulder.

He rubbed her back, trying to soothe away the ghosts of what had been inflicted there. He wasn’t sure what was crueler—to let someone acknowledge the hurt as the scars healed, or to ignore them completely, simply erasing them from existence. 

Bucky thought he knew the answer. It scared him, to see her personality shift so suddenly. No more attitude, no more sarcastic comebacks. To see her so vulnerable and lost. Y/N was still hurting, and would need to talk about it. And he would be there for her, for as long as she wanted him there.

Her breathing evened out, finally asleep. He knew there would be more nightmares, though, and settled in for a long night, drawing her protectively into his embrace.

Nothing would ever touch her again—not if Bucky had anything to say about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More fluff to come, more talks, and a little bit of romance. And yes, Norriss will get his.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Unbroken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: **18+ NSFW**, Language, Aftermath of Torture, Discussion of Past Trauma, Brief Mention of Past Suicide Attempt (not graphic), Off-screen torture of a bad guy, Recovery, Fluff, very light Smut.
> 
> Warnings: *18+*, Language, Enemies to Lovers, Blood and Graphic Violence, Torture, Captivity, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Fear of Death, Angst, Aftermath of Torture/Recovery, Smut, Fluff, A Happy Ending

Bucky had a mild panic attack when he rolled over and she wasn’t there anymore. Snapping awake instantly and sitting up, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw her still in the bed with him. She had scooted over to the extreme edge, though, her body curled into a tight ball and facing away from him.

His heart sank.

_Probably came to her senses last night. She doesn’t want you here anymore, but she doesn’t have the heart to kick you out._

He could tell by her breathing that she was awake. Maybe he should just go.

Yet the minutes ticked by, and he couldn’t make himself leave. In the end, his need to make sure she was okay outbalanced his fear of rejection, and he lightly touched her shoulder.

“Y/N? Are you okay?”

It was a dumb thing to ask, but he didn’t know what else to say. He certainly couldn’t tell her what had been fluttering around in his heart all night, thoughts and emotions that now felt like poison. And when she hunched her shoulders defensively, he felt their sting.

“Do you want me to go?” he asked quietly.

“If you want to. I won’t make you stay.” It came out flat and broken, and all thoughts of leaving vanished.

“I don’t want to go. I just…I wasn’t sure…” He leaned over so he could see her face, not wanting to disturb what was clearly a soothing position for her. His heart broke further seeing the blank, dead stare and the dried tear tracks there.

“Sweetheart, please talk to me.”

“You were right.”

“What?”

“I never should’ve been on that mission. Maybe it would’ve been fine, but I had to let my ego get in the way. I was so sure of myself that I never even checked for a secondary alarm, and that’s what tipped them off. You tried everything to save us, but all I did was slow you down. They hurt you because of me, and I—”

She broke off with a dry sob, and Bucky pulled her into his arms. This time when she flinched away, though, he knew it wasn’t because of him. She didn’t think she deserved his comfort.

“Y/N, what happened back there wasn’t your fault. Things…they just happen out of your control sometimes, no matter what you do.” Bucky shook his head. “I never should have said those things to you. They’ve been playing over and over in my head, and I feel horrible.”

“Because they’re true.”

Bucky frowned. “Because they were cruel. And because I didn’t know you. I didn’t want to—didn’t even try.”

“I didn’t give you much of a chance. I was pretty horrible to you.”

“I thought so at first, but know what you were doing now. Throwing up walls of sarcasm and getting inside the other person’s head before they can hurt you—it’s a defense mechanism. And what else was I but just another stressful situation?” He laughed softly. “I was a grumpy asshole and you were a snarky brat. Of course we fought.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Please don’t be.” He cupped his hands around both of hers, squeezing gently. “Yeah, we got into a situation. But you got us out. What you did, what you endured…I’ve seen seasoned agents and soldiers break under less, and you—”

“You’re wrong. They broke me in the end.”

“What’re you talking about? The plan you came up with—it was brilliant. It—”

“Stop!” She pulled away from him. “It wasn’t like that. I didn’t think of it until after. They were hurting you—they were killing you, and I begged and pleaded for them to stop. I would’ve reset the codes right there on the spot if they had it ready. Stop making me out to be the hero. Just stop.”

Bucky was silent. His face fell, visibly diminishing and he fought to dredge up what he wanted to say. And when he spoke, it was so quiet she could barely hear him.

“Do you want to know how many times Hydra broke me?” he murmured. “Too many to count. I fought and I fought, first to escape, and then just to retain a sliver of the person I was. And then, later…I tried to kill myself, just so they couldn’t use my body to do their work. They finally took that away too, in the end.”

The words started tumbling out. Bucky had never told anyone this, not even Steve.

“I don’t remember a whole lot, but I remember enough. I remember the last time they broke me.” He took a shuddering breath, and continued, his voice hollow. “I was in a cell, so small I couldn’t stand or stretch out fully. I have no idea how long I was in there, but one day they opened the grate and shoved a newspaper through. It was reporting the crash of the Valkyrie, and the death of Captain America. They kept me in there for a long time with that paper, and when they opened the cell again, I went to the chair willingly.”

Her hands were warm and soft as they wiped away tears he didn’t remember shedding, and he melted into her touch.

“You’re not broken, Y/N,” he said. “You’re a survivor. _We_ are survivors. And when it’s all said and done you pick yourself up by the bootstraps and keep moving, because that’s how you win in the end.”

Her face was very close to his, and his eyes flicked down to her lips and back. He wanted to kiss her, to show her how he saw her. How beautiful she was, how strong. How thoroughly he was overcome with emotion for her, a deep and visceral ache growing stronger by the second.

Instead, he lightly cupped her jaw, rubbing his thumb across her cheek and telegraphing his intentions.

A hesitant little kiss, his lips barely brushing hers. And again as her eyes fluttered shut and she kissed him back, slow and sweet. Both of them barely moving, just laying there and breathing the same air as the weight of the past crumbled away, swept clean by the tidal wave of emotions rushing over them.

His breath shuddered heavily against her as he felt her fingers card through his hair. He pulled her closer, every inch of his body against hers as the kiss deepened, and in that moment Bucky realized just how badly he wanted her, and how thoroughly he needed her. It had come at a heavy cost, the price of almost losing her, and he knew then that what he felt for her was real.

And he knew that she felt that way too.

***

They stayed in bed all day. Just talking and snuggling together, and Y/N finally drifted off into a deep and restful sleep. Bucky still held her though, the feel of her in his arms soothing as he joined her in sleep.

He didn’t dream either.

The first two days they didn’t to much other than talk and sleep. Their bodies were still recovering—Bucky didn’t remember the last time he’d been this tired. Or maybe, it was just having someone that he trusted, someone that understood him that made him realize that he’d been running on empty for a long, long time.

There were more tears. They talked about what had happened in that room, and what had almost been lost. Bucky told her about what happened after Sam and Sharon had shown up, nearly making himself physically sick as he relived it. Watching her bleed out in the dirt, his utter terror when he realized he was losing her.

But what he hadn’t expected was how scared she had been about losing him as well.

On the third day they ventured outside. It was a nice day, and Y/N finally felt strong enough to go for a walk. They walked around the pond next to the Compound hand in hand, simultaneously flipping off Sam as he teased them.

“Good to see you lovebirds up and about—I was getting ready to go in there and yank you out of bed myself.”

“Shut up, Sam.” Bucky blushed, embarrassed at getting called out like that, but the look Y/N gave him drove the thought straight from his head.

Bucky kissed her again under the oak tree, laying back in the tall grass, There was a little more heat to it now, and when she pulled him on top of her and wrapped her arms around his neck, Bucky thought he was going to die.

They didn’t go in until long after sundown.

***

On the fourth day, they went to see Norriss.

Bucky had already cleared it with Fury, the day before. Not that it had been easy.

“Nice try, but this ain’t my first rodeo. What makes you think I’m just gonna let you in a room with him unsupervised?”

“He’s not gonna hurt me.”

“I’m not worried about you, Barnes, I’m worried about him.”

Bucky sputtered.

“Jackson Norriss is in our custody. Can’t have him turning up dead on my watch. If you wanted to kill him, you should’ve done it before they slapped the cuffs on him.”

“I’m not gonna kill him. He’s just going to wish I had.” An ominous threat. More of a promise, really. “I know he hasn’t said shit yet—you want answers? I can get them for you.”

“And you want your pound of flesh.”

“I won’t kill him, but I’ll make it last a long, long time.”

Fury stared at him, unmoving. But Bucky had done this dance before, and he just stared right back. Finally, Fury sighed.

“Fine. You have twenty-four hours with Norriss. That is it, and that is all. After that he will be transferred—alive—to the Raft.”

Bucky nodded and stood, turning when Fury called his name.

“And Barnes…don’t make me regret this.”

Y/N, of course, followed him down to the detainment level. He thought she just wanted to see Norriss, maybe to confirm that her torturer was safely behind bars, but he was wrong.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Bucky—”

“I don’t want his blood on your hands. You’re too good for that.”

“And you’re not?” That fire was back again. “I don’t want to help. I just want to watch.”

“Sweetheart, no. It’s not…what I’m going to do in there…” he swallowed thickly. “It’s not going to be pretty. I don’t want you to see that.”

“Don’t want me to see what you do to him, or don’t want me to see that it’s _you_ that’s doing it?”

Once again, she’d cut straight to the heart of him. Bucky’s shoulders fell. “Both? I don’t…I don’t want to scare you. I don’t want you to see what I’m capable of.”

_I don’t want you to view me like him._

“If you don’t want me in there, if you really don’t want me to see, then fine. I won’t push. But nothing could change the way I feel about you, Bucky. Nothing. You are _not_ like him.” She took his face in her hands. “He hurt you. He hurt me, he tried to kill me. I still feel his hands on me, I still see his face in my nightmares. I want to see him suffer. I want to see him _hurt_.”

Bucky’s jaw trembled, his eyes dark coals of hate. “I’d kill him for what he did to you.”

“I know.”

He kissed her, hard and desperate, the taste of her, the touch of her calming him. Quieting the demons.

“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay. But stay back, in the corner. Away…from things.”

She nodded. With a final squeeze of her hand, he opened the heavy door.

Norriss was laying in his bunk, but he sat up when he heard the door open. “Sergeant Barnes. And the hacker—well, this is a treat.”

“I doubt you’ll think so for very much longer, asshole.”

Norriss chuckled. “I see your vim and vigor have returned, no worse for wear. So tell me, am I to be on the receiving end this time?”

She backed in the corner, heart racing but face set.

“Sergeant Barnes? Nothing?”

Bucky just slowly pulled his knife, closing the door firmly behind him.

***

Two days later, and Y/N had returned to work with a clean bill of health. Norriss—or, what was left of him—had been scraped up off the floor of the cell, a quivering mess bound in a straitjacket and bound for the Raft.

Good riddance.

In the end, he’d spilled everything, along with a sizeable amount of his own blood. Bucky and Y/N had been assigned to check the leads and verify his information—it seemed Fury approved of your partnership. It made for some long days for them both, but crawling into bed with next to her every night was worth it.

She hummed as he kissed across her jawline, nudging her chin up so he could lavish attention down her throat and shoulder. As he passed over the spots where the damage had been, he felt her stiffen slightly.

“You okay?” His voice was husky, eyes blown. “Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she said quickly. “Never. I just…can you tell the difference? Does it bother you?”

Her fingers lightly rubbed the spot where the brand had been. Bucky had been healed in the Cradle a couple of times, and knew she could feel the difference. He wasn’t going to lie to her.

“I can, but it doesn’t bother me. Do these bother you?” He took her hand and brushed it down the scars on his chest where flesh met metal.

“No.”

“We both have scars. Some you can see, and some you can’t. They could never bother me. I think you’re beautiful.” He kissed her. “You’re perfect.”

“I love you, Bucky.”

He blinked, almost not believing what he’d just heard. But she was just looking at him, her eyes and heart so wide and open to him—what else could he do but fall?

“I love you too, Y/N. I think I’ve known for a while.”

“Me, too.” She smiled, looking at him with new eyes. With lovers eyes.

Bucky sighed dramatically. “Well, now that that’s out of the way, come over here and kiss me.”

She giggled as he rolled on top of her, smothering her laughter with his mouth against hers. Drawing a heady moan from her as their hips pressed together, legs tangling in the sheets and hands mapping over scars and skin alike. Soon the laughter gave way to harsh pants as they moved together, his name falling from her lips so sweetly Bucky never wanted to hear anything else.

And when they lay together, quiet at last and bodies thrumming with the aftershocks of their lovemaking, when he heard her whisper she loved him just as she drifted off to sleep, Bucky knew that he would never want anyone else but her.

***

**Three months later**

“Is that seriously what you’re wearing?”

You looked down at what you were wearing.

“What’s wrong with it? It’s dark colors.” You scowled. “And until Fury sees fit to make me one of those fancy stealth suits, you’re gonna have to put up with my jeans and hoodies.”

“The hoods block your field of view.”

“They also block out annoying boyfriends who like to chatter in my ear while I’m working.”

“I’m annoying now?” He was grinning crookedly at you.

“Not right this second, but we’re getting there, gramps.” You buckled yourself into the seat next to him and he powered up the Quinjet. “And I guarantee, once I’m hip deep in code, you’re going to be right over my shoulder—‘ _What’s that button do? What does that mean? What’s malware?”_

He fixed you with a sizzling look. “Sorry, doll. You lost me at hips.”

You grabbed the collar of his leather jacket, kissing him hard. “Ass.”

Bucky moaned against your mouth. “Brat.”

“Old man.”

“Nerd.”

“Hey,” you gasped as he released you. “You’re just as much of a nerd. Don’t think I didn’t see you schooling Sam in Call of Duty last week.”

“What can I say? I’ve got a good teacher. She’s hot, too.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“That’s why you love me.”

“I do,” you smiled. “I really do.”

“I do, too.” Bucky sighed, his smile widening into a grin as he punched in the coordinates. “You ready for this? Back in the saddle again? A badass hacker and a—”

“Semi-stable hundred year old man?”

“I was going to say handsome ex-assassin,” he deadpanned.

You kissed him again. “That works, too.”

The Quinjet’s engines whined and the plane lifted up from the tarmac, wheels retracting as it turned southwest, heading out for the next mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And we’ve reached the end! Inoue6 thank you so much for trusting me with bringing this to life for you, I hope you liked it! This was by far the most brutal bit of whump I’ve written, but the action in this was very fun to write. Thank you so much, everyone for all the comments and support you’ve given me with this one, and as always, thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, comments and kudos are welcome and appreciated!
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @constantwriter85


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